Change & Breaking Habits

For anyone that struggles with change or breaking habits. I write from the POV of an older or 'middle aged person’ who has made a massive shift in perspective of thought processes and the pros and cons of leaving the comfort zone.

Particularly there has to be intention and a drive for change (or a strong feeling of not being happy in current circumstances). However I don't necessarily believe in haste or hustle.

Finding out who you are VS where you want to be or how you want to think/feel is not always a pretty journey.

And realising that there is never an end to that journey is also painstakingly key. I honestly believed that if I took on new protocols and shifted my habits and routines, that fulfillment would follow - and that I would come out the other side 'aware' and at peace. But unfortunately that is not how growth works.

When I realised that no amount of motivation and making myself do things I didn't want to do didn't shift me that much, I had to dig deeper.

Despite recognising that doing uncomfortable things on repeat eventually makes them more comfortable, it wasn't for me. OR a lot of people that I know. I believe in flow of life and accepting that happiness really is in the journey , the here and now. And not down to the amount of stress you put yourself through.

As an older person, I want peace and not the satisfaction that may or may not arrive with over-achievement.

Then there is the argument of saying you are ok with 'being who you are' but also wanting to improve on the guilt/shame that can come from not being on a self-imposed pedestal. Seeing yourself as others see you is a good start.

We are wired to make things very large in our own minds and we are wired to fight hard to maintain our own conceptual schemes or identities - even if they are torturing us. The longer you have behaved in a certain way it makes sense that is going to be more difficult for you to make changes.

You can know things about yourself that are flawed and you would like to do different . Doesn't make it easier to action but it is a start.

This short post isn't about advice or tips, but finding something in your day to day life routines that you can improve upon - but that also gives you a feeling of satisfaction and contentment.

Personally, I was surprised to find that a lot of things were already under my nose and it was only the re-framing that had to change. Self acceptance beats self-criticism hands down. Reframing has been one of the most stand-out and best things Ive ever learnt. Time to self, quiet and nature, meditation - hands down the best therapy.

And you don't need to be learning or comparing from strangers on social media. Use your gut, your instinct, people you trust that know something about what you are hoping to achieve. Rather than opinions.

You can always do better and improve - you can always do this in your own unique way.

I find more passion in the things that Im good at now, play to my strengths; I don't listen to myself when I’m talking myself out of things that are fundamentally beneficial.

And keep your circle, your family and friends close. Trust yourself.